It was hot, so hot I wondered how (in the name of all that is holy) would I survive the week ahead. I had travelled to London a few days before the TABB meet up with my family to experience some of the sights and sounds of this wonderful city. And London did not disappoint. From a fun visit to Madam Tussaud’s where we marvelled over the remarkable likenesses of the waxworks and took numerous selfies to a gorgeous night of live music with the 5-piece band Phoenician Blinds at the Pizza Express Jazz club in Soho. And also, a timely visit to put roses on my Mum’s grave in Maidenhead for her 25th anniversary, it was a complete feast for all the senses and about as far away as we could get from our little sleepy townland in County Clare. After an auspicious start checking in and then out again of a hotel without air conditioning, the days flew by in a flurry of iced coffees, visits for my son to the Warhammer store and wandering around Soho square as my son armed with his camera captured much of the city’s cultural offerings (and a few pigeons!).

And then it was time for the TABB meet up. Arrangements had been made to meet on Saturday morning for a river cruise on the Thames before gathering for an afternoon garden party in Chiswick. I travelled into London on Saturday morning with Maria and Roxy, the heat already building, and we parked in Chiswick spending a few moments outside the Italian deli that would be providing our food later that day. Outside the deli there was a cute little green car with its boot open stuffed full of artichokes, apples, oranges, squash and leafy carrots. We all posed for photographs with the veggie car narrowly avoiding the many runners and joggers who ran up and down the road without so much as breaking a sweat!

Outside the deli, regulars sat with their coffees in the shade looking vaguely surprised at the happy bunch of women exclaiming at it all. Above the deli entrance a diamond shaped sign proclaimed: “Grab & Go, the Best non-alcoholic spritz in town, Smiling wolf - non-alcoholic functional spritz at Mari Deli. – I smiled at the word functional.

In the past I have attempted to write and try and describe how surreal these meet ups can be. For much of the time, as a member of the TABB platform, we usually see women in zoom squares at online meetings, their faces being prominent and visible, sometimes their arms and their upper torso. We may even get to meet a pet or two wandering into the camera view at times. To actually meet these women in person feels odd with a strange sense of déjà vu because there is a feeling of knowing each other even though we might never have physically met each other.

Some group photos and a slow dawdle to Chiswick and suddenly we had arrived at Angela’s stunning shared communal garden. A feast of flowers, bunting and beautiful pastel coloured honeycomb decorations whirling gently in the breeze. A gazebo was our saviour in the intense heat as we sat down to a table decorated with vintage china, antique lace tablecloths and whiter than white napkins. The food was fresh and light with gorgeous salads and fresh pasta flavoured with herbs and vegetables. There was an alcohol-free cocktail bar where for the first time, I didn’t have to ask for an alcohol-free option because everything was alcohol - free! Dr Zero Zero, Mother Root and something that tasted vaguely like mouthwash featured alongside all the alcohol-free prosecco a gal could wish for. One of the women kindly moved my chair so I wouldn’t get sunburnt and there we sat and laughed and talked like old souls meeting again after a long drought since our last gathering at Christmas. 

Anything and everything were on the conversation menu. From a recent Take That concert, the Isle of Wight festival and holiday plans to more serious topics of how we were maintaining our sobriety. I learned about pineapples – more specifically if a pineapple is hanging upside down on a hotel room door, it means that you are advertising that you are a swinger – who knew!

But most of the time it felt weirdly like I was carrying on conversations that had already been started. And then there were the details - small anecdotal details that I would have mentioned briefly in meetings were remembered and noted and commented on. Warm fuzziness abounded - I felt seen and heard, I and both valued and loved. But I felt a deep sense of community and connection. 

A young singer entertained us with her accompanying guitarist and strains of the jazzy song Summertime drifted out over the river as Sandra mimicked an opera singer while more sat quietly talking under the shade of the old trees. Breathing in and out I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging.